“Exploring the World Through Words and Wanderlust: An Interview with Rakhi Kapoor”
Rakhi Kapoor is a multifaceted individual whose journey weaves through the realms of literature, entrepreneurship, healthcare, and adventure. With 25 published books spanning fiction and nonfiction genres, she is not only an accomplished author but also a pioneering physiotherapist and prenatal counsellor. Hailing from Bengal, Rakhi radiates a blend of traditional wisdom and modern innovation, evident in her writings that offer pragmatic solutions to life’s complexities. Her latest book, “Now You Breathe,” delves into overcoming toxic relationships and abuse, resonating deeply with readers worldwide.
Beyond her literary endeavours, Rakhi is the co-founder of Derby Mens Wear, a renowned men’s fashion brand based in Chennai, India. Her passion for travel has taken her to the far reaches of the globe, where she has trekked mountains like Mt. Fuji, Everest Base Camp, and Mount Kilimanjaro, finding inspiration in the challenges she encounters.
1. Your book “Now You Breathe” tackles the sensitive topic of overcoming toxic relationships and abuse. What inspired you to delve into this subject, and what message do you hope readers take away from it?
Answer: Trauma and abuse can result in depression, complex post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety attacks, addiction and suicidal tendencies along with various other mental health conditions. Various mental health issues lead to personality disorders like Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality disorder, Psychopathy and Sociopathy etc in an individual reiterates the (DSM) Diagnostic of Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders used world-wide by all mental health professionals.The cycle of abuse continues which means that more people will get hurt. Verbal, mental, emotional, physical and sexual abuse can lead to stunted self-esteem, zero self-worth and distorted personality development. People who come out of toxic relationships may become numb and insensitive towards others because of their own trauma. Their own beaten and shattered self-esteem makes them bitter and angry. Their ability to form and maintain healthy personal relationships are destroyed as they may approach close personal interactions with fear of getting hurt because of their abusive past. Women and children especially children are more prone to abuse because they are innocent, naïve, financially dependent and powerless in an adult world. If children, teenagers and youth become dysfunctional then the future of any country, society and humanity is at jeopardy. “
For the victims of abuse and trauma Now You Breathe is like a torch that brightens the dark corners of their lives. Now you breathe awakens individuals to the fact that Love and Abuse cannot go together. It has vital information for women and victims of abuse to recognize the red flags, manipulative techniques like emotional verbal mental abuse in toxic relationships. It stresses on the effects of Post traumatic stress disorder and urges the readers to get help.
- You’ve co-authored several books and founded a successful men’s fashion brand, Derby MensWear. How do you balance your diverse interests and responsibilities, and do they influence each other in any way?
Answer: Apart from being a prolific writer, a prenatal counsellor I am an entrepreneur. I run a popular Men’s fashion wear brand called Derby Men’s Wear along with my husband. I am also a mentor for a global online women entrepreneurs forum called Yuukke. So how do I strike a balance between all this? I prioritise my time and energy. It’s quite a task. But being conscious about how productively I can use my energy and time makes me live a worthwhile life, living every day with awareness. So how do I strike a balance? I have few meaningful and deep relationships and friendships. These people understand my life goals and are accommodating. Together we help each other grow and stand by each other through tough times. I don’t have time for fake people and things that serve my life with no purpose. Between writing impactful books, making a difference to my expecting clients and readers, running my business and taking care of health and my needs I am sorted. Scheduling the tasks to do, setting immediate short term and long term goals like book submission deadlines, client meetings and prenatal sessions and consistently working on things which need daily focus like exercise , healthy diet , promoting my books on social media, writing articles and blogs helps me have a fair amount of grip over my extremely busy life.
Some days it does get over bearing and then I catch up on rest and relaxation. I take a holiday and schedule a trek to a new mountain periodically. Life is what we make of it and how we choose to live it. It is as simple as that.Challenges lie in all the roles and that’s what makes the journey worthwhile. Having to wake up every day and juggling my various roles gives a meaning to my life. It makes me look forward to each day, each new expecting mom I am about to counsel, every book I am working on and then sitting through the grilling Governance board meetings at Derby. No two days are the same. I don’t get to repeat another day of my life. My days are a pot-pouri of different flavours, challenges, joys and small achievements leading to big accomplishments eventually in every role of my life.
- As a physiotherapist and prenatal counsellor, you’ve specialised in antenatal care for over two decades. How does your professional expertise inform your writing, particularly in addressing issues related to childbirth and women’s health?
Answer: My experience of twenty years as a prenatal counsellor dealing with young couples through such a crucial phase of their life opened my eyes to the relation between mental health and its overall impact on an individuals’ life. If the mind was kept steady and non averred then women could accomplish great feats, sustain through high risk pregnancies, breeze through the mother of all pains like labour pains. When the mind gave up then came the gambit of physical health complications and emotional upheavals. During the counselling sessions with my expecting clients I figured out that most conflicts in a relationship could be resolved. Couples began to understand and appreciate each other and amicably carry on the responsibilities of parenting. In some instances I was rendered helpless. I figured no amount of help could salvage individuals because of their altered irrational personality and rigid mindset which only drove them to seek negative outcomes. This insight opened my eyes to my personal issues like childhood trauma and abuse.
After extensive research and further upgrading my professional skills to understand human behaviour and personality traits I penned my Golden Award Winning Books Now You Breathe and Breaking Free Embracing Me. I intend to save a million lives through these books.
I have authored a one-of-a-kind book for an Indian man called Expecting Daddy Delivers which has been translated into Hindi Behtar Pati Behtareen Pita. Everyone insists on taking care of the unborn baby but less focus is given on maternal health. I have worked with more than thousands of expecting women from various walks of life to help them have a healthy pregnancy, safe childbirth experience and swift recovery after childbirth and deal with their mental health issues like Postnatal depression. That thought did lead me to write a book on pregnancy for women much later which focused entirely on mental health of a woman around pregnancy and childbirth called Mum mental health and Milestones, which addressed issues about mood swings, anxiety of childbirth and postnatal depression. Deliver with delight – Tens steps towards happy and healthy pregnancy a popular book mine has topped the Amazon India best seller chart in its category.
- Your extensive travels, including treks to Mt. Everest and Kilimanjaro, reflect a spirit of adventure. How do these experiences inspire your creativity and influence your perspective on life and storytelling?
My career as an author started at the age of forty. I penned my first book, “The Girl Who Was Left Behind” in 2017. This book is inspired by my own personal experience. Failure to complete a task I had set aside for myself and finding myself alone and heartbroken at 12000 feet wandering in the Himalayan ranges of Nepal.This journey which tested my spirits. My books are an alchemy of my travelling, trekking, reading and writing experiences.I am an avid trekker and love exploring nature. Besides the physical challenges, trekking tests my mental grit and determination. The priceless lessons of resilience and grit which I relearn over and over again is what helps me deal with the daily challenges in life after completing a trek. Moreover trekking keeps me on my feet to focus on fitness and my physical health. I have to have optimum trek ready fitness all the time. One of the contributors to deteriorating mental health these days is that people don’t move much. Sitting on the couch all day long affects many hormones’ optimal functions and causes lack of neurotransmitters in the brain leading to depression and anxiety. Training for the treks on a regular basis powers up my mental agility and emotional grit. I celebrate life in every breath I take. I have an incessant attitude of achieving my goals in life and creating an impact in the society. A life with a purpose is what I strive towards.
- Among your accolades is the Exceptional Women of Excellence Award by Yuukke, recognizing your contributions as an entrepreneur and author. What values do you prioritise in your work, and how do you aim to empower others, especially women, through your endeavours?
Answer: As a working woman, I also understand the struggle of other working women trying to balance their work and take care of themselves and the household chores. If the family members and spouse can be sensitised and made to understand the struggles of a woman, that would make every woman’s life. Through my antenatal sessions I help women wrap their head and body around a significant cross road of their lives i.e raising a family and balancing one’s personal aspirations.
It is through my various books that I become the voice of a woman. I influence many women through my social media handles like instagram and quora etc
Self-love, introspection, accountability and responsibility are superpowers which can take us where we want to go and make us who we want to be. There is no point in playing the victim card and being miserable. It is in our hands to love ourselves, draw boundaries in every relationship, decide how much of ourselves we want to give to others and also keep for ourselves. If every woman learns to take care of herself to her best capacity and also render help to the next woman around us who has lesser privileges, together the whole kind will rise.
The best way to empower anyone is to become a role model, lead by example. So I continuously keep working on myself for those who look up to me for guidance. “ Woman, you are not here to prove a point to your parents, partners, children or the society .Hold on to your dream. Keep working towards it little by little. Doesn’t matter how insignificant the progress is. Rome was not built in a day. Someday each part of your life will conjure up to make the bigger picture.You walk the face of earth to experience this beautiful gift of life and discover how beautiful you yourself are.”
- Your book “Expecting Daddy Delivers” has been translated into Hindi, widening its reach. How important is cultural inclusivity and accessibility in your writing, and do you have plans to expand your works into more languages?
Answer: My antenatal sessions included the expecting father from the start. One of the most essential aspects of my sessions are taking care of the mental health of pregnant women and enhancing the relationship of both the expecting mother and the father.Young women in nuclear families having jobs have little support during this time. My sessions included the expecting father from the start. One of the most essential aspects of my sessions are taking care of the mental health of pregnant women and enhancing the relationship of both the expecting mother and the father.Every man strives to keep his family happy. Everyone insists on taking care of the unborn baby but less focus is given on the maternal health .Only if the mother is healthy will the baby be healthy. In the urban scenario working women find it extremely difficult to balance their work life, duties at home and take care of themselves during this crucial phase.
In Indian society still pregnancy and childbirth is a hushed up affair at home excluding the men. They were never informed or made aware of the nuances of pregnancy and childbirth. I completed the first draft for a book on pregnancy for a woman and then rewrote the whole draft for a man, it took me a whole year. What was the point in writing another book on pregnancy for a woman when there were so many available already. How was I going to create an impact ? How could a different perspective help a woman in pregnancy? That’s when it dawned upon me that women have enough material online and offline along with a barrage of advice to follow during pregnancy from family and friends. What is the point in writing another book laden with advice on pregnancy for a woman? Hence I authored a one-of-a-kind book for an Indian man called Expecting Daddy Delivers which has been translated into Hindi Behtar Pati Behtareen Pita so I could reach out to couples who were not able to attend my sessions physically.
Hands-on husbands providing emotional support helped to bring down the incidence of mood swings, postnatal depressions, unhappy marriages, strained relationships, and reduced divorce rates is essential for a strong foundation of human society. Family, relationships, love and bonding is universal irrespective of race, culture, country, gender. Hoping to get my work translated into many other Indian languages.
- Looking ahead, what can readers expect from your future projects, and are there any themes or subjects you’re eager to explore in your upcoming works?
Answer: Feminism has been misconstrued. Women empowerment is a fancy word which is so frivolously flaunted around by everyone. Fanning a girl’s aspirations and giving her the hope that she could be successful, financially independent, and then curbing her dreams because of her natural responsibilities of childbearing and nurturing her family confuses the young women and makes them bitter and confused. The tug of war between the pressure of fulfilling one’s professional goals, responsibilities of raising a family, influence of the society and interference of parents and extended family in the Indian culture adds its two bits to destroy a sound relationship in the making. It’s not easy for either of the sexes but let’s be honest women get the wrong end of the bargain.
Well my next book is a work of fiction, an interesting story on self-love, mental health and women empowerment.Funny, sassy, empowering and powerful. In fact as I am writing the answers down for this interview, I am on the verge of completing my first draft of the manuscript.
