This Generation: Why Parents Are Not Connected to Their Children, and Children Want Them to Be Like Them”
Dr Mehjabeen
Founder Vision High Mental Health Wellness
www.drmehjabeenvisionhigh.com
In today’s rapidly changing world, the bond between parents and children is becoming increasingly strained, especially in the current generation. The gap between the two seems wider than ever, not because love has diminished, but because understanding, communication, and emotional presence have weakened. One of the fundamental issues is that many parents, intentionally or unintentionally, are not deeply connected to their children in the way the children desire. Parents often provide for their children in practical terms—education, food, shelter, gadgets, even luxuries—but fail to invest emotionally or mentally in their child’s inner world.
As society becomes faster, technology takes over time, and life becomes a race, the depth of parent-child relationships gets sacrificed. Parents are so caught up in responsibilities, career goals, social obligations, and the need to “secure” their children’s futures that they overlook what children truly need in the present—empathy, companionship, non-judgmental conversations, and emotional validation. The result is a silent emotional distance that grows wider day by day. Children, on the other hand, are becoming more emotionally vocal, expressive, and sensitive. They live in a world of constant exposure—to ideas, diversity, mental health discussions, and emotional intelligence—through social media, pop culture, and online communities.
They are growing up in an era that values expression over suppression, emotional intelligence over rigid discipline, and authenticity over obedience. These children do not just want guidance or protection; they want connection. They want their parents to understand their moods, validate their struggles, acknowledge their mental health, and most importantly, treat them like equals in emotional space. They don’t want parents to just command or correct; they want them to be companions, listeners, even co-travelers in life’s emotional journey.
Children today long for emotionally available parents—those who can sit with them without judgment, who can hear them out without fixing them, who can share stories, make mistakes, laugh, cry, and admit their own vulnerabilities. Unfortunately, most parents were not raised this way themselves. They come from generations where survival mattered more than emotional bonding, where authority was the foundation of parenting, and where talking about feelings was seen as weakness. Many current parents are emotionally undernourished adults who never learned how to connect deeply, even with themselves. As a result, they either control too much or withdraw too much, failing to establish balanced emotional presence. When children ask for connection, parents often misinterpret it as disrespect, rebellion, or entitlement. When children show sadness, parents might call them “too sensitive.”
When children express their desires, parents may view them as demanding or ungrateful. This miscommunication creates frustration in children who feel misunderstood and unseen. Hence, many children start building emotional walls or seek comfort in friends, strangers online, or even through unhealthy outlets. The disconnection is not about love—it’s about language, mindset, and presence. This generation of children does not just want parents who feed them and fund their education; they want parents who understand modern mental pressures, who evolve with time, who are willing to unlearn and relearn, and who don’t hide behind authority or outdated parenting models. They want their parents to be like them—not in terms of style or slang, but in terms of openness, adaptability, and emotional transparency.
They want their parents to speak the emotional language they speak. However, this doesn’t mean children want immature or careless parenting; rather, they crave emotionally intelligent, kind, and conscious parenting. They want to laugh with their parents, cry with them, go on walks, share memes, talk about their crushes, fears, ideas, and get real responses—not lectures, not judgments, not quick dismissals. Children are not looking for perfection; they are looking for presence. Sadly, many parents feel threatened by this new expectation. Some feel they will lose control or respect if they become “too friendly” with their children. Others feel they are too late to change or too busy to slow down. This fear of losing control becomes a major barrier. In truth, children don’t respect control—they respect authenticity. When parents admit they don’t have all the answers, when they are humble enough to learn from their children, respect grows naturally.
Connection doesn’t come from authority; it comes from humility and truth. The emotional hunger of children today is deeper because their environment is more chaotic, more competitive, and more emotionally demanding. They live in a world where appearance is everything, pressure is constant, and comparison never ends. More than ever, they need safe emotional Bonds at home. They need to know that no matter what happens outside, they can come home and find a space of unconditional love and understanding. This is only possible when parents make a conscious decision to emotionally show up—not just physically, but mentally and spiritually.
To connect with this generation, parents must first look inward. They must heal their own childhood wounds, unlearn toxic patterns, and be willing to evolve. They must be curious, not controlling. They must listen more than they speak. They must let go of pride and embrace vulnerability. They must stop parenting from fear and start parenting from love and presence. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being real. Children don’t expect parents to be superhuman. They just want them to be human enough to care, to feel, to connect. In families where this emotional connection exists, we see children growing into confident, emotionally secure adults. But where this connection is missing, children often grow up with silent wounds—abandonment issues, low self-esteem, depression, or the need to constantly seek external validation. The emotional disconnection has consequences beyond childhood; it affects future relationships, career choices, and self-worth.
Therefore, if we are to raise a healthy, aware, and emotionally strong generation, parents must become emotionally intelligent. They must learn to connect, not just correct. They must ask, “How are you feeling today?” instead of “Did you do your homework?” They must celebrate effort over results and presence over perfection. They must create homes where emotions are not feared, but welcomed. Children of today are not asking for much—they are just asking for connection, for companionship, and for emotional Bond.They are asking their parents to come closer, sit beside them, and be real. They want their parents to walk with them, not ahead of them. And in doing so, they are not just reshaping the future of parenting, but also healing generations of emotional distance. The time to reconnect is now.
In conclusion, the emotional distance between parents and children in today’s generation is not rooted in a lack of love, but in a lack of connection and understanding. Children are yearning for presence, not perfection—parents who are willing to be real, vulnerable, and emotionally available. If both sides make an effort to bridge this gap with compassion and openness, families can become safe spaces of healing, trust, and lifelong connection.
