When Survival Replaces Growth

Recently, a war broke out between two nations. One nation had killed the leader of another one. The
war didn’t end here; the other started to seek revenge. During war usually two things happen, the leaders
or powerful people use their manpower (armies) to fight, while the common people silently suffer the
consequences. A lot of people die, some get injured and live in memories of the tragic moments. Similar
situations like these had been recorded in world history too. During World War II, the United States
detonated atomic bombs in Hiroshima and Nagasaki in Japan. It was the first- and only-time nuclear
weapons were used in war. While the infrastructure recovery took years to build, social recoveries had
taken more than decades. The psychological scars lasted for generations. That one incident was enough
to show that growth cannot happen where survival is constant.
In the history of Hinduism, similar tragedies had been recorded in the scriptures. Everyone knows about
the Mahabharata war, but very few talk about the establishment of Dwarka. The story says that
Jarasandh, King of Magadha, attacked Mathura 17 times. Shri Krishna realized that if his kingdom is
continuously under attack many civilians (Yadavs) would die, and a lot of time would be taken to
recover. He then did what nobody could think of. According to Raja Dharma, a king is expected to
protect his land and never run away from war. Walking away from the battlefield was seen as cowardice.
Shri Krishna did the exact opposite. He ran away without worrying that people would call him a coward
and at a new place he established Dwarka. That was a strategic move by Ranchhod (Krishna) to protect
his people and allow the kingdom to grow. The irony is that the same person who avoided war in
Mathura later encouraged Arjuna to fight in the Mahabharata. As a simple living civilian, we might not
know if they had tried to compromise or they deliberately wanted to fight. Whether it is ancient
kingdoms or modern nations, the lesson is the same: constant conflict destroys stability, and without
stability growth becomes impossible.
Modern psychology also explains this idea in a similar way. Psychologist Abraham Maslow stated that
‘Humans first need safety and stability before they can grow, learn, or reach their potential’. One
unfortunate thing is that the same thing happens in many families. The same situation of this war in the
world happens regularly in many homes. One common situation occurs where parents fight with each
other, and use their kids as a punching bag and emotional dustbin. In many families the parents become
the superpowers. Their anger, harsh words and constant fights become the weapons, while the children
silently suffer. While some die from inside, some get injured mentally (trauma patients). In many Indian
households, elders want their children to become a very successful person, get into IITs, IIMs, become
doctor and many more. If someone is constantly in survival mode at home, how can real growth happen?
Often, we hear ‘a studious kid can study everywhere’, or ‘ignore them and think about your future’,
How? It’s very easy to tell someone that, but experiencing that is no less than a hell. The thinking
becomes distorted; the mind always stays in an alert mode. Laughing together feels like a luxury. Even
peaceful sleep becomes expensive.
Wars do not only happen between nations. Sometimes they happen inside homes too, and those wars
dig up into the brain creating conflicts in mind too. Sometimes even when people move to safer places,
their minds continue to live in a war zone. And just like nations struggle to rebuild after destruction,
children who grow up in constant conflict struggle to rebuild their minds. Stability shouldn’t be a luxury,
because it is the foundation for growth. Without safety, survival becomes the only goal.