Interview with Utkarsh Saurbh: Unveiling “The Heart of Heartbeats”

Today, we delve into the literary world of Utkarsh Saurbh, a tech-savvy wordsmith who has transitioned from the realms of technology journalism to penning heartfelt poetry. With his debut book, “The Heart of Heartbeats,” Utkarsh has secured the prestigious 21st Century Emily Dickinson Award, marking his entry into the literary scene as a force to be reckoned with. Let’s explore the inspirations behind his poetry and his journey from the world of gadgets to the world of verses.

 

1. Could you share the inspiration behind the title “The Heart of Heartbeats” for your poetry collection? What themes do you explore in your book?

 

   Ans The title of the book is directly taken from the title of one of the poems in the book, which is one of my favourites in the collection. 

 

In the book, you will find themes of love, loss, longing, memories, dreams, nature, nostalgia, introspection, the fast-paced urban life, monsoon, rain, and grief, as well as determination and grit. 

 

2. Transitioning from a career in technology journalism to poetry is quite a leap. How did your background influence your writing style and choice of themes in your poetry?

 

Ans : I’ve not exactly transitioned from tech journalism to poetry all of a sudden. I have been writing poems and even short fiction for some years while working at The Times of India (TOI Tech-Gadgets Now) and before, though a bit irregularly. Like writing about gadgets, poetry is another facet of my writing skills. As a tech and games journalist and writer, my work life has been a busy one (to put it mildly) but I made time for writing and reading somehow after work hours. I must say that I’ve lost plenty of sleep (in a literal sense) over trying to do creative work because late night is the only time when people in a 9-to-5 job usually get free. 

Getting to how my book– “The Heart of Heartbeats”– came to be.

BookLeaf Publishing–my publisher– just pushed me into completing a concrete poetry collection. I had come across their ad on Instagram earlier. It was a writing challenge that one had to complete in 21 days, and I signed up. I had to write 21 poems in 21 days and send them to the publisher which I managed to do. That’s how “The Heart of Heartbeats” came to be.

I read a lot and have been reading books since childhood, no matter the type of formal education I got. I used to journal quite frequently. I think that all these habits gradually helped me compose poems later on (and helped me become a tech and games journalist as well).

 

Your hardships and pain change you as a person. Like everyone else on this planet, I’ve also seen my share of struggles. As for the choice of themes, they are grounded in reality (most of them) and I can say with some confidence that they are relatable. I have written this book based on what I have observed and felt in my own life. I am someone who can feel things like the human experience in a certain lifestyle, topics very few think about, things no one talks about or generally eschews, on a very deep level and that’s where the poems come from. 

 

3. Winning the 21st Century Emily Dickinson Award is a remarkable achievement. How has this recognition impacted your journey as a writer? 

Ans Winning The 21st Century Emily Dickinson Award has certainly given a huge boost to my morale as a creative writer. It has brought me praise and more recognition. The response I got from readers and book reviewers has been overwhelmingly positive. The book is popular amongst reviewers.

 

On a personal level, I can see that my journey as a book author has kickstarted. It’s shown me new ways to explore my creativity.

 

4. With your extensive experience in covering technology and video games, how do you think your diverse interests, including music, cinema, and running, have shaped your perspective as a poet?

Ans Every little thing, every experience, every voice, helps a creative mind, no matter the field. I have written while listening to music. You’ll find beautiful, creative expressions of humans in a well-written soundtrack. When an artistic mind feels something very strongly, it expresses it in some form.

However, I don’t indulge in my interests purely to become a better writer. But yeah, they can help passively. If, as a writer, you choose to swim deep into the experience of any form of creative expression, be it music or films, and analyse them too while enjoying them, your creative and analytical muscles get strengthened. Prose, poetry, music, cinema, comic books, paintings, and even story-based role-playing video games … all are part of the same big family of arts. Only the mediums of expression are different.

When we talk about cinema, the combination of expertly edited sound, acting performances, hard-hitting dialogues, and screenplay is a visual and aural treat for a creative person. A few films that have greatly affected me are The Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Last Samurai, A Bittersweet Life, Okuribito (Departures), The Dark Knight trilogy, The Judge, Whiplash, and Jet Li’s Fearless. There are more but these are the ones that instantly come to mind.

Some of the films, like the Wuxia ones (I doubt if many people in India are fans or have seen them), will feel like visual poetry. Hero (2002), House of Flying Daggers (2004), Curse of the Golden Flower (2007) are some examples. Yimou Zhang makes period masterpieces.You will find it hard to believe but sometimes, video games can also give you writing ideas. I won’t encourage it as a habit, though:)) 

Once, I wrote a poem on a video game character. Video games are a different creative medium. In a film, you get to watch the protagonist’s story unfolding on the screen in front of you. In a role-playing video game, you become the protagonist and get to live out the story yourself. 

I know that there is an undeniable dark side to video games because they are addictive and take your focus away from the high-effort activities (I’ve been a victim myself) but once in a while, well-made story-based RPGs with a proper ending are worth spending your time on. However, video games are not required to educate yourselves in the art of writing. They will eat up your precious time. If you haven’t played or don’t play video games, then I would advise you to keep it that way. They can be really addictive. I have covered video games as a journalist. That’s a different thing.

 

Running (and physical training in general) helps you disconnect from the world and get more in sync with the one inside you. It also helps in unclogging the creative flow of a writer, at least that’s what I have found. There is nothing but you and the track in front of you and you can get blissfully awakened during long runs. I do it because I enjoy it; not because someone told me that I should run for fitness. If you enjoy your workout and are regular with it, fitness will come naturally to you. However, building it as a habit takes more than just enjoyment; discipline is more important. Usually, the things that are truly good for you are hard to do/master.

5. Your book comprises 21 poems on various themes. Can you highlight one or two poems that hold a special significance to you personally, and share the stories or emotions behind them?

Ans The Heart of Heartbeats, the poem the book’s title takes after, is a clear favorite. It’s an introspective piece and does have a story behind it that some may find queer. 

One day, I was just sitting alone in my room after a long day at work, trying to write a poem. I’d worked out a lot too on that day. Amidst the quietness that quickly grips the night as the hours grow beyond late, I tried to focus my mind on finding the seed of the poem idea. Within a few minutes of doing so, it had gotten so quiet that I could actually listen to my heartbeats and feel their regular thrumming not only in my chest but beneath my ears too. 

That did it. 

I pondered on this body we are born with, a body that works like a machine but is not exactly a machine. Our hearts keep beating without stopping, without any rest or care in the world; if our hearts had a separate consciousness of their own, how would they feel about the whole thing? 

Where have we come from? Why are there so many hidden things about human life and why do people not talk about them? Why aren’t they curious about the purpose of life? Who could answer my questions about the whole drama one has to live and then just disappear into dust and smoke? How people try to forget this fact by focusing on fashioning their life the way they can and live it; each one living his or her reality and then turning to dust in the end. All those queries blended with my personal experiences in those moments and I came to how all those mysteries of human life make me feel. Knowing about some trivial things and not knowing about a hundred, a thousand, a million hidden things about life, things which the general populace either does not think of or just ignores.

 

I was happy that I was able to find a creative outlet for all those feelings but not happy with the state of human life. That’s what the poem titled “The Heart of Heartbeats” is about.

 

Another one I like is “The One I Chase With Eyes Shut”. It has a dark undertone and that’s how I prefer it.

 

“Baptism of Banishment” is another one I like. It is one of the more cryptic poems in the collection. “Warrior” is about carrying on in the face of adversity and challenging oneself to bend the fortunes to their will. “The Archived Loss” is about personal loss that’s been pushed into the archives of memory, the subsequent grief that comes with it and the inability of man to control certain aspects of life.

 

We, as writers, may sometimes find ourselves unable to solve something we are dealing with, but at least we can make the world aware that such a problem or issue exists and should not be ignored. Your readers connect with you because they are either sensitive beings and/or have gone through something similar to what happens in the book themselves. 

 

6. As someone who has navigated the world of literature and technology, what advice would you offer to aspiring writers who are hesitant about pursuing their passion amidst societal or personal expectations?

Ans My debut book ‘The Heart of Heartbeats’ is a clarion call to all those creative people out there who are suffering by not following their passion. I want them to wake up to the reality that no one can help them and none of their once-dreamt dreams can come true if they do not take action on following their creative pursuits, be they writers, singers, graphic designers, painters, or any kind of artists.

Start working on your passion. Put out your work. Show it to somebody you can trust. Don’t be afraid. What could go wrong? Your writing can get rejected, that’s it. That’s a learning lesson. Or maybe you showed it to the wrong person. 

You can also ask for feedback but make sure that the person you are asking has some idea of how good writing works, someone who reads quality books and has an idea about writing. They can be an author, an editor, a teacher, or just someone who reads a lot.

Don’t underestimate yourself too. I used to do that a few years ago when I was in college. I used to feel that first, I needed to read hundreds of books, then only I could write well and become an author. That’s not true. Reading hundreds of books will surely enhance your understanding of the world and also, help you become a better writer but it is not a threshold you must cross to be eligible to write.

My niece Ozeesha wrote a book of short stories for kids at 10 years of age (“Fantastic Adventures” by Ozeesha Asmi Singh, published by BriBooks). She has not read as many books as me or any adult author but she worked on her writing skills. She’s got a direction so early in age and with practice, she’ll gain more experience. That’s what I am talking about.

 

You need to start somewhere and keep practising the craft of writing. It’s not a mandatory thing to read hundreds of books to be eligible for writing. Don’t put that kind of pressure on yourself, like I did. 

 

And, please, don’t listen to the so-called societal dictums. Society can’t dictate who you choose to become. It can’t dictate what career you take up. Truth is, society as a whole has no idea what to do with itself. Everyone is struggling in some way and very few have the clarity on how to come out of it. So, when it comes to following a creative pursuit, forget about this word called ‘society’.

 

If you gotta listen to someone’s advice, let it be of the ones who truly care about you and have your best interests at heart. They could be your parents or someone you trust deeply.

 

Listen to your own heart, your soul (if you believe in having one). Look inside yourself to know what is that one thing that gives you immense happiness or peace– something you can keep on doing for hours and hours without being told to do so–and can be taken up as a career. 

 

A character in a famous TV show once said, “Finding things that make you happy shouldn’t be so hard.” (Jackson “Jax” Teller in Sons of Anarchy)

Find those things that make you happy. Your career may very well be hidden in them.

You might ask, but what about parents? Well, you can simply ignore society but not parents.

If your parents are against your career-related decision, then you should first listen to them and try to understand if their wisdom can help you in some way. If you are sure about picking a certain career because you really want to, it will work. 

If parents are totally against your career choice, then it is a battle worth fighting for. It’s a battle for your happiness and fulfilment. Due to the generation gap, they might find it hard to understand something like passion. It’s not their fault. If you have something to show them, to convince them that you could make it big by following your passion, do that. Our parents are from a different age. If they don’t get your point, you have to give them some kind of proof that you can monetize your writing or whatever your passion is. The understanding ones will understand.

 

If they can understand you and support you, then that’s one of the best things to happen. But if you find that they do not, and are pressuring you into doing something else, well, then, suffer for as long as you can (not advisable), and when you cannot, try to pursue your passion secretly. The Internet can be a great help with that. If, in case, there is severe helicopter parenting and parents are making life hell for you (not all of them do, but some can), then try getting a job in some other city, become independent, and keep pursuing the dream.

 

Sure, in this day and age, something like simply being a poet won’t fill your belly. But I am not just a poet; I chose writing as a whole and upskilled myself in the technology sector as per the job’s demands. It helped that I was able to combine my tech knowledge with writing.

 

You can’t do any creative work properly if there is this tension of not earning, not being employed someplace. Be practical, and upskill yourself in areas you can monetize well. Get the security that money alone can give. At the same time, plan on how you can follow something you truly care about. And start taking time out for it.

 

Coming to purely writing-based advice-

 

For any aspiring writer, my advice would be less screen time, and more reading (physical books), and writing time. Read a lot but don’t just keep reading all the time, write for yourself too. Take up some physical activity to keep life brimming with enthusiasm. Spend time in nature. Spend time alone. And don’t take up smoking. It just makes you a slave to the habit. It harms you more and benefits you less (talking about getting dependent on cigarettes for creative ideas). You don’t need cigarettes to write well and prolifically.

 

If you want success and recognition, you have to be desperate for it. You’ve to be obsessed with what you want to achieve in life and be willing to put in the hard work it demands.

 

7. Lastly, after the success of “The Heart of Heartbeats,” what can readers expect from you in the future? Are there any upcoming projects or themes you’re excited to explore in your writing journey?

 

Ans Of course, I would like to write more. From the response I have gotten from my readers, they are eager for what I will come up with next. “The Heart of Heartbeats” is rated 4.5+ on Amazon. It is available internationally on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and the BookLeaf ebook store. Readers in India can get their copies via Flipkart too.

 

Amazon India-

https://www.amazon.in/Heart-Heartbeats-Utkarsh-Saurbh/dp/9358730900

 

Amazon International

https://www.amazon.com/dp/9358730900?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_VJER8JVDX8MC5R0411BT

 

BookLeaf Ebook Store-

https://ebooks.bookleafpub.com/product-page/the-heart-of-heartbeats

 

The overwhelmingly positive reviews have given me a lot of hope and I am thankful to the readers and the book reviewers for their support and honest views.

 

I now know that I shouldn’t have underestimated myself in college (speaking of creative writing). I know that I am good, I just want to be better.